The Good and the Bad

I debated about whether I should post this, but I figured that one of the functions of this blog is to provide me with a kind of physical record and a measure of objectivity when considering the various aspects of this relationship. Often, in the midst of things, it is easy to forget what happened a week or two ago.

We took a trip out east into the desert because she had some work to do there, and I figured that if we were going to work on the relationship, then we needed to be together. I have to say that two out of the three days were not really good days. I personally did not get much work done, and she was in a bad mood. And, of course, when she is in a bad mood, she directs most of it at me. Some of it is normal relationship stuff, and some of it is deserved. I can be a little cranky when I'm hot and frustrated. Of course, some of it is her negative outlook on things, and part of it is the context of the whole relationship. It is hard to think that things will be okay in the future if so many things have not been great in the past. Her car was overheating in the desert and that put some stress on both of us. Frankly, at the end of our trip, I was looking forward to being home and getting back to work.

On the first day back home, things were pretty much still strained between the two of us, especially since I had spent most of the day at work. However, on the second day, after spending the morning together, we worked together the whole day doing household chores. We needed groceries, we needed to make dinners for a couple of days, we needed to do laundry, and we needed to clean the house. For the most part, we got along and even had fun together. We watched some of our favorite television shows together, and she made me something cool to drink as something nice to do; it was a "just because" thing.

Today has been pretty much the same, we spent most of the day together having fun and finishing other chores. Again, we made dinner together, and I think that is one of the positive things that is going on in our relationship. Previously, I had told her that I don't like it when she calls me name when she is angry, and during minor flare ups of frustration these past couple of days, I have seen her catch herself from calling me a name. That effort on her part meant a lot to me.

Later the same night, I returned to work to try and complete some projects for an important meeting on Thursday. In fact, this is the area that concerns me most right now. I really need to have all of my ducks in a row by Thursday afternoon for the meeting with my boss. I'm already in some trouble, but I'm hoping that the boss will be able to help me sort most of it out. We'll see.

Tomorrow, we see the counselor again. Those days are always difficult for the both of us, but I still think that they are helping. I'm hoping that the counselor will be able to help get some perspective on the bad days we had this week and provide us with some advice on how to extend the good days.